Rejected Ideas 2
by Roxius
Summary: Another series of rejected fic ideas concerning the P3 characters. Most of these are really parodies instead of actual fic ideas, but it's the thought that counts. Read and Review, people!


A/N: If any Russian in this first drabble is wrong, then I'm sorry; I used the Google Translate thing for it.

--

Akihiko glanced out the head window of the S.E.E.S.-Machine and commented, "Hmm...it's getting disturbingly foggy all of the sudden, gang. You know what that means...!"

"Uh...like, it means we're near a burger joint?" Junpei asked hopefully. Koromaru, who seemed to be able to speak (but only in Russian), nodded wildly and barked, "Reah! Reah! Бургер совместной! (A Burger Joint!)"

"No...it means we're going to be caught up in another mystery! Jinkies! I'm excited!" Fuuka exclaimed happily.

Smirking, Mitsuru leaned over to Akihiko and whispered, "If we're lucky, we can find a nice bed or something when we're off-screen and..."

Mitsuru was cut off when Akihiko suddenly screamed and crashed the S.E.E.S.-Machine into an oak tree.

"IT'S...THE CREEPER! WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE SHINJI, THOUGH?"

"Священный дерьмо! (Holy Shit!)"

"You said it, Koromaru! Here's a Koro snack!"

"KORO KORO KOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Although they were still teenagers (and one of them was a dog), Akihiko, Mitsuru, Fuuka, Junpei and Koromaru were the best mystery investigators around!

--

'Death...Note?'

Minato picked up the small black notebook and flipped it open. Although it was lying on th ground and probably just junk someone forgot to throw away, the content inside caught the blue-haired youth's eye.

'What? There are rules? Hmm...it says that this notebook...can kill anyone whose name is written in it? WTF?'

"I see you are interested in it..."

The voice sent chills down Minato's spin. Spinning around, he came face to face with a large demonic creature covered in armor and chains. Although its true face was hidden, it seemed to be smiling.

"Hello there," the creature chuckled, "My name is Thanatos...and you are now the new owner of my Death Note. Heh heh heh...lucky you..."

--

During the day, Akihiko Sanada is a disgruntled old millionaire who lives alone on a mountain near Gekkoukan City with his "nephew" Ken Amada. When the night falls, however, and the city is overrun with gangsters, thieves and homicidal maniacs...

Akihiko becomes the persona of anti-heroic justice. He becomes the sole man who has a chance of protecting the people of the city and save the weak from suffering. He becomes a true badass hero who doesn't need shitty alien powers to kick ass like SOME people. He is...The EvokerMan.

And Ken isn't actually his nephew, but just some kid who wanted to be EvokerMan's sidekick, and he goes under the pesona of Raven, which is completely different from 'Robin'!

Together, they fight the likes of such villains as The Punster (Shuji Ikutsuki), Jesus-Face (Takaya), Ms. Freeze (Mitsuru Kirijo) and Dogwoman (Yukari Takeba).

The fate of Gekkoukan City rests in Akihiko and Ken's hands, and they are going to do everything they can to make sure they don't fail!

(God, that sounds lame...)

--

Yukari really didn't believe Junpei to be serious when he said he wanted to start a band; however, when she came downstairs at the dorm one day and found him and his 'band members' practicing, she was left speechless.

Minato was playing bass guitar and third-hand vocals, Akihiko worked as second guitar and second-hand vocals, Ken was on the drums and keyboards, and Junpei had lead guitar and lead vocals.

"You guys...are actually going to form a band?" Yukari asked in disbelief.

Junpei smirked and replied, "What's so disturbing about it, Yuka-tan? We actually had Mitsuru-sempai listen to a demo tape of ours, and she thought we were pretty good!"

Yukari turned her attention to Mitsuru, who threw her hands up in defense and said, "I know you don't want to accept it, Takeba, but they ARE actually kind of decent. Just a bit more practice and they could start making record deals!"

"How about we play you a song, Yukari? We were just practicing one when you came down." Junpei suggested.

Yukari sighed and took a seat next to Mitsuru, still unable to accept that Junpei might actually have a talent.

"Alright! Our group's name is 'Panic! At The Dark Hour' and this is our song... 'I Write Tragedies, Not Sins'!"

--

One day, Junpei decided to see if the gun version of the Evoker worked on Koromaru. He figured it probably would, so he did it anyway...

...And it turned Koromaru into a human.

A human with a perverted desire for a certain red-haired young woman.

"OH SHIT..."

--

**Takaya**: All the God-King Nyx requires is this: a simple offering of blood and flesh. A token of S.E.E.S's submission to the will of Nyx.

**Minato**: Submission. Well, that's a bit of a problem. See, rumor has it that the _Koreans_ have already turned you down. And if those philosophers and … boy-lovers have found that kind of nerve …

**Akihiko** (interrupting): We must be diplomatic.

**Minato**: And of course _Japanese!_ … have their reputation to consider.

**Takaya**: Choose your next words carefully, Minato. They may be your last as king.

_-Minato turns and ponders the offer, looks at three different views, the last being Yukari_

**Minato** (thinking): Blood and flesh? -_He draws his sword and points it towards Takaya, whose back is to a large, deep staircase-_

**Takaya**: Madman! You're a madman!

**Minato**: Blood and Flesh. You'll find plenty of both down there.

**Takaya**: No man, Japanese or Demonic, _no_ man threatens a messenger!

**Minato**: You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to _my_city's steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with _slavery_ and _death_! Oh, I've chosen my words carefully, Demon. Perhaps you should have done the same.

**Takaya**: This is blasphemy! This is _madness_!

**Minato**(looks at Yukari, who nods to him): Madness? _This is...**TARTARUS!!**_ -_kicks Takaya down the stairs-_

--

"AIGIS AND METIS...ROBOTS IN DISGUISE!"

--

When Akihiko heard the sound of a car screeching to a stop, he figured Mitsuru was back from her practice drive with Ikutsuki-sensei as her instructor. When the door swung open, though, Ikutsuki himself walked in with a look of pure horror on his face, and Mitsuru followed suit. She looked like she was crying, but she had run upstairs to her room before Akihiko could even speak to her.

"Ikutsuki-sensei...uh...how did Mitsuru's driving lesson go?"

"So...so many melons...so many of them...their juices flowing everywhere..."

After that incident, Mitsuru learned how to drive a motorcycle instead.

--

Along with the bug-sized "Wandering Artist" Ken Amada, Koromaru is given the task to find the 12 Celestial Brush techniques and defeat the darkness that plagues the land of Gekkoukan! And...he must team up with the descendent of legendary hero Nagi, a naive and wimpy drunkard known as Akihiko! Can they defeat the evil eight-headed beast Orochikaya (TakayaXOrochi fusion)?

--

One day, Yukari decided to check out a site called that she overheard a few people talking about. It was all well and good until she came across a certain author who wrote certain stories about her and a certain red head in certain situations...and it made her mad. Really mad. So mad she decided to kill the crazy bastard who wrote up this shit.

...This is 'Kill Roxius', the movie!

WWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH- (Gets killed by Yukari)

--

The entire auditorium grew quiet as the lights dimmed and the curtains raised. Every single student and faculty member at Gekkoukan High came to attend to this event, because none of them exactly knew what was going to happen. However, as soon as the stage lights flicked on, someone stood up and shouted:

"...WHY THE HELL IS AKIHIKO IN DRAG?"

No one knew...but Mitsuru thought it was hot.

--

Ever since his older brother left to play football in America, Minato had felt lonely and bored. All the adults he knew acted like immature children, his brother's ex-girlfriend Yukari kept flirting with him, and he had no special talents whatsoever.

However, one day everything changed when a red-haired girl carrying a rapier drove in on her motorcycle and stabbed him in the head...


End file.
